Balls, Cannibals, and Enemas

Goat Update
The twin goats born yesterday were not doing so well this morning. Their body temperature was in the low 90s. The farm manager gave the goats a bath to bring up their body temperature, tube fed them, and gave them soapy water enemas to clear out the backed up poopie. As I mentioned yesterday, if they don't excrete the jelly shit, it makes it really hard for them to metabolize any nutrients. He also said he wanted to avoid tube feeding at all costs because the chances of them regurgitating (and inhaling the vomit) is pretty high. He would have given them a shot of glucose and other nutrients, but we were not stocked up yet, to get the nutrients directly in the blood stream. That way they get instant energy to keep warm.

After the bath, he put the goats in a cardboard box with a hair dryer to warm them and help increase their body temperature.We monitored the little goats through out the day and took their temperature (rectally) and it was up to 100F. But they were still not digesting the milk given to them. We tried another round of soapy water enemas, and the poop was freely flowing, and put them back in the box. In the afternoon, we brought the goats back up to the barn to be with their mothers.

Fact: Kids (aka baby goats) sound almost like human babies when they cry.

The male kid latched on to his mother with no problems, but the female (who was the runt of the liter) was barely able to stand. I held her and felt for her mamas tit and tried to put it in the kids mouth. She would not take, and it was awkward trying to hold her, open her mouth, and shove the tit in their. When we checked their temperature an hour later it had dropped again to 90s so we needed to put them inside the box for the night if they had any chance of surviving. I hope the little girl makes it.

Piglet update

For any squeamish man out there reading this, it's about to graphic. Today we emasculated two piglets. First, we knew that we would have to get the piglets, and ourselves, as far away from the sow as possible. The moment she hears her babies screaming, she is going to be pissed. We seperated out the males, and grabbed one by the legs. It immediately started squealing. The mama was snorting and grunting and you could tell she was not happy. We moved far away as we could and shut the gate between us, her, and her pen. One of the interns held all four legs and exposed the sac area while another farm worker took a paper towel covered in iodine and wiped the area. With a sharp scalpel he mad an incision on one sac and popped the nut out and cut the attachments. He repeated the same thing for the other nut. It was quick, with little blood, and aside from the high pitch squealing was not so bad to watch. Although, I don't know if I have the guts to do it myself. I couldn't cut my dogs nails as a puppy because she screamed so loudly.

Cannibals
Apparently two rabbits gave birth yesterday after I left. I was not aware of this when I feeding and giving them water. I looked into one cage and found a half eaten baby rabbit. I then looked into her kit and found two other little rabbits (they look like mice or rats when they are born) and it wasn't moving. I wasn't sure if I should take them out of not because I didn't know when she had them, so I thought maybe they are still alive. When I checked on her later, the baby rabbits hadn't moved and looked still pretty dead. It was a little eerie seeing these tiny creatures that look nothing like rabbits just lying their dead, or worse, half eaten. They definitely don't look as cute as baby goats or pigs.

Seeing Double

Today was very exciting. After a day of rest, due to a big snowstorm, I was eager to get to work. Me and another intern, who also stayed home yesterday, apparently had missed the birth of twin goats. Eager to see the new crew we volunteered to feed the pigs and cows while the other two interns fed the chickens and rabbits.

When we went over to her pen, I saw these two tiny black and white goats, huddled with their mama (good thing we put together those kidding pens last week.) I fed her some hay. A little while later I went back to check on her and she had buried her babies under the hay and they were bleating. So we uncovered them and they walked away wagging their little tails like dogs.

As we fed the other goats and cows we heard one goat mehhhhhing loudly. Someone yelled out that she was giving birth, so I ran over. She was sitting on her side with her legs out, and you could see two little hoofs poking out. After a half and hour she hadn't made any more progress, so the farm manager came over and gently worked the kids head out, and she finished up the rest. This slick creature came out and the farm manager brushed away the guck from his face to help him breathe easier. The mama goat and her kid were placed in one of the pens and she immediately started cleaning him. In between yawns that is. The farm manager said that he thinks she might also be carrying twins. Sure enough, 10 minutes later another one came out. This time much quicker. This tiny one was a girl.

So, now we have two sets of twins! So adorable.

We were told to monitor them to make sure they were up and walking, and feeding within an hour. Since the temperature is in the 30s and they only have so much brown fat, their body temperature can drop too low if they don't start feeding. Also, we were told to look out for the dark brown jelly shit. The first shit that comes out. If that doesn't come out pretty soon, the kid gets blocked up and can't absorb much energy. Then we would have to do a soap enema....fun?

5 reasons I love my job

1) Every day I get to be around pigs, goats, sheep, cows and chickens. All I have to do is feed them, and they are happy. Sometimes they let me pet them. But mostly they run away from me. Now thats power! How many of your coworkers run away when you walk in the room?

2) My "office" is the outdoors. And I have a million dollar office view.

3) No one cares if I wear the same clothes everyday, and I get compliments on my sexy steel toe rubber boots.

4) Two words: Power Tools. Nuff said.

5) Free work out. I don't need to go to the gym anymore. Although I fear I may end up with a disproportionately large right bicep.

Satan's bush

Thursday and Friday we tackled the very unpleasant job of cutting and clearing the invasive multi flora rose species from one of the fields. These little bastards have a wide variety of pricks. Tiny pricks, big pricks, and in between pricks. Some would just stick to your hat, jacket, and pants as you tried to pile them, others pierced right through your two to three layer protective gear to cut your legs and hands. I decided rosebushes should be renamed Satan's bush because they are so cruel and prolific.


We did have the baby cows to keep up company. They were out in the field licking the piles of thorny brush. Crazy cows. Here I am cursing the brush and they are licking it like a lollipop. Then again, if you have ever been licked by a cow, its like taking a 50 grit sand paper to your hand, so it probably feels really good to them. I kept hoping they would help pick up some of the branches and stack them for us, but they are a bunch of freeloading slackers.

Interesting fact: cows gestate for the same length as humans, and pigs for aprox 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days.

Baby Watch
Good news. The surviving 6 piglets were still alive and well. They were all running around and for the most part getting out of their mothers way. One little piggy was stepped on and squealed a bit, but seemed relatively unharmed. They have a little escape route under the wooden fence to a straw bed warmed by a heat lamp.

Speaking of baby watch, I thought that I spotted one of the goats giving birth. I alerted the guys and they put her in one of our freshly built kidding pens. Turns out that she was not giving birth, but had a prolapse vagina. Most likely due to her carrying twins or triplets. The pressure is so great that it pushes her uterus out. Apparently that is pretty rare for goats. Or at least none of the guys had witnessed that before. The goats are not due until April, so we are going to have monitor to her pretty carefully.

Friday was Tanjore day. Whenever someone leaves Glynwood or on special occasions the staff go out to eat at Tanjore, the Indian restaurant in Fishkill. Well, I guess we must have impressed them with our awesomeness, or they had a hankering for some buffet, we all went to eat lunch. We were warned that after eating lunch there, we would be rendered incapacitated for the rest of the afternoon. Their prediction rang true. Two plates of Indian food later, our hour lunch turned into two hour lunch. We fed the animals and called it a day.

I Heart Tanjore day!

A cruel lesson from Mother Nature

It was a gray morning laid with fresh snow that gave a peaceful feel to the farm. I went to feed the sow and in the dark I made out some shapes on the ground that looked like sweet potatoes (don't judge my comparison). I immediately realized that those shapes were piglets. But a lot of them were not moving. I ran to tell the other interns and livestock hands about the piglets. We inspected the litter and 6 piglets were moving around, 7 piglets were dead, and one piglets breathing was shallow. One of the guys picked him up and handed him to me to hold. He was so tiny and looked like he was barely alive. The mother had rolled over her piglets and killed them. Unfortunately, this happens more often then one would think. We took the dead piglets and placed them in a bucket.

It may sound heartless, but we threw the dead piglets into the woods to feed the wildlife (coyotes and what not). The whole circle of life thing. The logic was if we gave them food every now and then, they would leave the live animals alone.

We are gearing up for baby season on the farm. The farrowing sow is just the beginning. We spent the afternoon building lamb and kidding pens in the barn. I have a whole new appreciation for zip ties. We essentially built pens using zip ties, clips and metal fencing.

I was anxious to check on the pigs before I left, and the little guys were all mobile and walking around. If there is one lesson those little guys will need to learn quickly is to get out of big mamas way.

Whats for supper? the Easter Bunny.

Rabbits are shit machines. Walking into the room where these little fury creatures are housed in their cages, you can't help but think these things live for shitting. That, and one other important thing, doing IT. In case you didn't know, rabbit poop looks like rehydrated raisins.

The rabbits are being raised for meat. I asserted rather naively that it must be hard to kill the rabbits (because their so cute), to which the livestock guy responded "oh no, it is really not hard. You just put its paws in a strap, break its neck, and drain the blood. And, the skin pulls off really easily."

Um, OK. Can't say I am psyched to partake in snapping the Easter bunnies neck. But if I close my eyes and imagine the taste of the stewed meat, I might be persuaded otherwise.

In the afternoon, we rounded up the goats and sheep and recorded their id tags, and some cases if they were missing one, we had to issue another one. The id tag machine works very similar to getting your ear pierced, the goats didn't seem to mind it, they just don't really like you holding their head, or touching them.

The day ended with another cleaning out of the chicken pen, scraping out all the bedding, throwing down some lime as a disinfectant and then fresh straw bedding. I learned that there are three type of chickens, Rhode Island Red, Leghorn, and Araucanas.

Anxious to sample the chickens goodies, I took home a couple of eggs and scrambled them for supper. Breakfast for supper is totally the way to go. I may be biased, but they were the creamiest and best tasting scrambled eggs I have ever made.

Holy Crap. Literally.

At the early hour of 6:10 am, my faithful alarm clock went off. I put on my thermal underwear; a pair of hiking pants that saw me through tomato picking 5 years ago, a hoodie and my wool socks, and headed downstairs for the coffee pot. After three cups of coffee, I was ready to start the first day of my farmer training.

For the next five days, us interns will be following two other workers around and learning the animal chores. We started at the pig barn. We were warned that the four hundred pound pigs are not very nice. And that we should basically get in and get out as quick as we can. " Do not get knocked down, or they will eat you." One of the livestock guys said, half jokingly.

After the pigs, we met the chickens. Some were laying hens, and some were meat chickens. Each intern grabbed a 50lb sac of corn feed and gracefully, or not so gracefully in my case (note to self, must get stronger) hoisted it on to our shoulder. As I dumped this awkward heavy load into their feeders, stray chickens would peck at my leg.

After feeding them we collected eggs. We noticed a dead, stiff chicken on the ground. One of the guys picked it up and threw it in the back of the truck. He said he wasn't sure what happened to him. We also noticed one the chickens looked rather lame, his toes were all twisted and his beak was messed and crooked. He might end up on the chopping block tomorrow. It's not fair to leave them that way because he will be picked on, or rather pecked on, by the other chickens. Chickens hate weaklings.

After lunch, we were initiated or hazed, if you will. We were tasked with the mission of cleaning out one of the chicken stalls. The cobwebs and dust on the ceiling, the shit caked to the wall, and straw bedding on the floor and nest matted with feces and urine, all had to go. With our handy dandy face masks, we started sweeping, shoveling, scraping excrement off of everything. The smell is 10 times worse than a men's urinal in a Greyhound Bus station.

At one point, one of the roosters got out and flew over the fence. We had to go and retrieve him. I was given a long stick with a hook at the end and was supposed to hook his foot. Roosters are fast. We kept chasing him around and at one point I almost hooked his foot, but he slipped away. Slippery little coq. Eventually we cornered him and just picked him up.

It was a good day.

As I drove home I flipped to the country station. And for some reason, I felt like having a beer.